Huumorit

[mart211]

"Your mother is so fat, that she broke a branch in her family tree"

"Your mother is so fat, when she sits on the beach, whales swim up to her and sing: "We are family...""

Police Chief: As a recruit, you'll be faced with some difficult issues. What would u do if u need to arrest your mother? New recruit: Call for backup!

Why is Viagra like DisneyWorld? U have to wait 3 hours for a 3 minute drive.

Husband returns to home one day and tells his wife, "Hi honey, look, i've bought the new AC/DC CD." Wife: "Why did u do that?!!! We dont even have a CD Player!" Husband: " So what...have i ever asked why u keep on buying bras?"

Miks ei ole Mehhikol olümpia võistkonda? Sest kõik kes seal ujuda, joosta ja hüpata suudavad on juba Ameerikas.

A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says"Would u like to dance?" Girl says: " I dont like this song and even if i did i wouldn't dance with u. The guy says: I'am sorry, you must have misunderstood me, i said you look fat in those pants.

Õpetaja annab Jukule matemaatika tunnis ülesande: "Kui ma anna sulle 100 krooni Juku ja sina annad 25 Marile, 25 Annikale, 25 Mannile ja 25 Kadrile, mis sa kokku saad? Juku vastab: "Orgia"

Q: What can u find in a man's pants that is about 6 inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they ofter blow it?
A: a $20 bill

A Chicken and a Egg were lying in bed one night. The chicken smoking a cigarette with a smug grin on its face, the Egg looked thoroughly ticked off. The Egg lookes at the Chicken and says:"Well, i guess we finally answered THAT question"

Ever notice how so many of women's problems can be traced to the male gender? MENstruation, MENopause, MENtal brakedown, GUYnecology, HIMmorrhoids....

My personal favorite:
What is the difference between light and hard? You can go to sleep with the light on.

Millisel kolmanda klaasi õpilasel on kõige pandavam keha, kas blondil, brünetil või punapeal? Blondil, sest ta on 18.

Miks on naistel väiksemad jalad? Et kraanikausile lähemal seista.

Mida teeb Blondiin peale juuste kammimist? Tõmbab püksid jalga tagasi.

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.

If i have a rooster and you have a donkey, and your donkey bites off my roosters feet, what do u have? Two feet of my cock in your ass

Tänan Piipz